Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Jesus takes break from not existing, helps Lions to victory!

This is just perfect in contrast with my last post on the Kathy Griffin incident. Not only does God take time out from not doing anything useful to guide teams to Super Bowl victory, actors to Oscar wins, and musicians to Gold records, but now he is healing injured quarterbacks in the second week of the NFL season.

Says Yahoo:

ALLEN PARK, Mich. (AP) -- Detroit quarterback Jon Kitna expected people to snicker and laugh when they heard his explanation for his comeback against Minnesota after getting knocked out of the game with a concussion.

"It was a miracle," Kitna said Monday.

Kitna left the game in the second quarter, returned in the fourth and led the Lions to a 20-17 win over the Vikings in overtime on Sunday.

He said it was the third concussion of his NFL career, and the first since 2001. Kitna said he also had a concussion playing for Seattle against San Francisco in a 1997 preseason game.

"I've never felt anything like that, and for it to clear up and go right back to as normal as I can be, is nothing short of a miracle," Kitna said. "I just definitely feel the hand of God. That's all it was. You can't explain it.

I could fill about 20 blogs listing more important things that God could have taken an active hand in, rather than helping a second rate quarterback lead a mediocre team to victory in a meaningless early season game, but why bother? Too easy.

Ok, I can't resist. Suck it, Jesus!

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Suck it, Jesus.

Could the title be any more clear? Let's try this. Suck it, Jesus. Hmmm. Still not enough. Suck it, Jesus!

And not just Jesus, oh no. Suck it, Catholic League, Suck it, Donohue, and Suck it! to anyone who honestly believes Kathy Griffin saying "Suck it, Jesus!" is hate speech.

Are you offended? Are you upset? Are you ready to flag this blog as offensive? Is your persecution sense tingling?

Then buy a fucking helmet and get over yourself.

Christians, seriously. You are a majority in the United States. At the least, 90% of elected officials are members of a sect of your religion. There is a church on every corner. Four stations on my cable system are dedicated to worship services and creationist lies. Your holidays are national holidays. To be elected president, you must at least claim to follow your fairy tale. From the Super Bowl to finding a quarter on the street, everytime something good happens to someone, you can bet they will be thanking your sky daddy and his son.

The "Help, help, I'm being oppressed" routine is getting old. No one wants to feed you to the lions. No one wants to outlaw your religion. We just want to live our damn lives without being affected by your belief in your imaginary friend. I don't want my tax dollars to support the study of unicorns, or invisible dragons, and I don't want it to help your faith based whatevers, your attempted destruction of science, your "christian nation" mythology, or your abstinence only course in how to get pregnant as a teenager.

Kathy Griffin saying "Suck it, Jesus!" and stating the truth; that jesus had nothing to do with her winning an emmy, is not persecution, it is not oppression, and it is not hate speech. Next time you want to open a bottle of whine over how unfairly christians are treated in this country, don't. Instead, go talk to a holocaust survivor, or a christian from a part of the world where they actually face death due to their belief. Or hell, just read Maus. It's even in graphic novel form, you can pretend it's a book length Chick Tract that replaces the lies and slander with actual truth.

Then go here and sign the petition to uncensor Kathy's award speech.

So Suck it, Jesus. Hell, even my sidekick, the Holy Ghost says "Suck it, Donohue."

Saturday, September 8, 2007

Somehow, I don't think my boss would go for it.

So say you are the head of a government agency. And not an insignificant joke of an agency like the EPA under the Bush administration either, but a real agency with an important job. Like say, the agency that is responsible for delivering benefits to our veterans. What would you say is more important than your job? Your spouse? Your children? A sick friend?

Well, if you are Daniel Cooper, undersecretary for benefits at the Department of Veterans Affairs, the man resposible for ensuring our veterans are taken care of for the service they have provided the United States, the answer is simple. Bible study.

Yep. Bible study. Since Mr. Cooper took over at the Veterans Benefits Administration, the waiting list on benefits has increased from 325,000 in 2002 to a modest 600,000 today. The average veteran faces a 6 month wait for an answer to his (or her) application for benefits, and if denied, an appeal process that can last up to 3 years. And if you're one of the unlucky 52,000 Iraq/Afghanistan vets diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder by the Veterans Administrations, you have a less than 50% chance of being approved for disability compensation.

So what does dear Mr. Cooper have to say as those who risked their lives for our country wait endlessly for the benefits they deserve? Well, about the backlog of cases, nothing that I could find. But when it comes to bible study, he gives us this gem:
"it's not really about carving out time, it really is a matter of saying what is important. And since that's more important than doing the job -- the job's going to be there, whether I'm there or not."

Yes Mr. Cooper. The job will be there whether you are or not. And here's hoping it's the latter very soon.

Priorities are Important@Pharyngula
More on the Christian Embassy in the US military.
WWJD..with a cruise missile@Pharyngula